King Tramadol

For those of you out there who get horrifying cramps during your "lady time," you might want to look into a wonderful, glorious drug called Tramadol. It'll change your life. I swear it.

Mom gave me some last year, when I strained my back during a visit home. I wasn't looking forward to a 7-hour car ride with a painful back, and mom offered me one of her painkillers. Now, I refused at first. Even just looking at most prescription pain killers usually makes me woozy, sleepy, dizzy, you name it. I didn't think taking a random pain pill from my mom was a good idea, especially if i had to drive back to DC. plus, i always have nightmarish and paranoid misgivings about taking prescription painkillers. i picture myself as the next oxycontin addict, creeping around alleyways... stealing from my childrens' piggy banks, slavering for my next hit...

But! she assured me that there were basically NO side effects and it's not addictive - plus i took it in the morning, and i wasn't planning on leaving until dinner time. there was plenty of time to wait out a sleepy reaction. i took one, and all my pain magically disappeared and i was fine! no dizziness, sleepiness. nothing. just as if i took an aspirin, only much much much more effective.

it's so great. without it, i would have had to leave work this morning to go home and thrash and moan on the couch for several hours. instead, i got to go about my business as if nothing was wrong.

when my little "sample" bottle from my mom runs out, i am sooo getting some more from el doctor. and you should too.

Pictures. It's about damn time, I'd say.

okay, so i finally dumped a bunch of pictures off the camera today:

beach vacation

caribbean parade

camping trip/love fest, 2008!

a fun new hike: Old Rag Mountain

i hate the name (bess: "this smells like sour rag!"), but i am intrigued. i love the Billy Goat Trail (photo at right) at Great Falls - it's one of my all-time favorite hikes, especially the rock-scramble part up the cliff. a friend of mine recommended Old Rag, because there is a whole mile of rock-scramble-cliff-area! a whole mile! i can't do straight up rock/cliff climbing because i don't have the upper body strength, but the less-sloped areas like the cliff on the Billy Goat trail are nothing but fun.

Now that i read the description of Old Rag a leetle more closely, it sounds like something that i might want to hold off on - at least until i've been working out a little more. i'd hate to get my flubbery buns stuck in a crack somewhere and have some ranger air-lift me out. yeeesh. what a thought.

search statistics

every once in a while, i check to see how people end up at this site. it never fails to amuse me. the top Google search that results in a hasty visit in the middle of the night is "Norwegian porn stars"! i'd love to see the disappointment on the sweaty, leering face of the person who that typed those search terms.

just this morning, a new strange search was born:

"we've been so damn obsessed with the times, picking the scabs that grow from our minds..."

oddly enough, my website is the second-ranked result from that bizarro search. oh, the teeth-gnashing that must have ensued after visiting my little ole self-absorption.

old posts from myspace

I copied these old posts from my myspace profile. i never use that thing, and i expect i will delete it eventually. but i wanted to keep the few "blog" posts i had there, because those days don't exist anywhere but in my head - and we all know that is a dangerous place. no backup memory there, people. so these are old. take a trip down memory lane with me. Friday, December 01, 2006 birthday hatchlings! Current mood: excited well my birthday has come and gone, and i'd say it was a good one. in addition to other wonderful and generous gifts (grand bookcase, my morning jacket show, kitchen gadgets galore, etc.), i acquired some wildlife for the house: last night, scott and i went on a hunt for the elusive and wiley gerbil. yes, gerbil! scott got me two gerbils for my birthday, and all the toys and habitats that come along... once they hold still long enough, I'll take some pictures and post them. for now, it will suffice to say that they are darn cute and cuddly. one is stripey-ish brown with a white belly and the other is black with white hands and a white stripe on her neck. the brown and white one is very bossy and feisty with big black eyes; and the black one bites a little, and is shy with chubby cheeks and a overbite. I haven't named them yet. i think i need to get to know them a bit more first. 6:30 AM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Wednesday, November 29, 2006 new shelves! those of you who haven't been to the house lately, we have some new additions. that weird, crappy fence-like railing is gone - replaced with new LP shelves, built by my dad! here's a link to some pictures: shelves! 11:05 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 boys, i've got to work on my strut... Current mood: drained well, I don't have to work on my strut.... more like the guy at College Park Metro Auto has to work on my strut. Both front struts, to be specific. once again, i've been avoiding car repairs. once again, nearly tossing myself into the willing embrace of Vehicular Manslaughter before taking my car to the shop. it all started a few months ago, with the occassional squeal of brakes. not too worrisome, as it didn't happen consistently or often... and my dad just fixed my brakes not long ago. then the "crazy wheel" started to appear. if you've never had your car diagnosed with "crazy wheel", it feels sort of like you are driving down a steep incline in a shopping cart with one trick-wheel. the steering wheel feels all skittery and the driving isn't very safe. sudden jerks side-to-side and all. this also didn't happen all the time, so i just put it out of my mind. a few weeks ago my dad came to visit and, like always, he proceeded to give my car the visual inspection shortly after saying hello. his eyes nearly googled out of his head when he saw how bald my tires were. the metal mesh parts of the tire were visible. the tread was not. then scott cleverly remarked, "jesus christ! those are like telly savalas bald!!" who knew? then i had the pleasure of driving several days in the rain on shiny bald tires. if i thought "crazy wheel" was unsafe, i had no idea how bad it could get. so i took my car to the shop yesterday, and today i am $600 lighter in the region of my pocket. as it turns out, i needed new struts - that's why my tires went bald in a matter of months. here's a little lesson on struts (i've highlighted my favorite passage): "Another common dampening structure is the strut; basically a shock absorber mounted inside a coil spring. Because struts have so much to do with the handling of a car, they can be considered critical safety features. Worn shocks and struts can allow excessive weight shift from side to side and front to back (read: crazy wheel!!). This reduces the tire's ability to grip the road, as well as handling and braking performance." -- Howstuffworks.com so i guess it needed to be done. but my god! do these things a) need to be so goddamn expensive and b) happen right before i need to go christmas shopping? i'll try to send out evites to my pity-party soon. real soon. 8:18 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Monday, November 13, 2006 salt lake city Current mood: nervous Well I'm back from my trip to the great salt flats of the old west. I was weary and missing home by Saturday, but scott fixed all that when he picked me up at BWI early Sunday morning. The mountains were beautiful, and especially touching as they were laid out behind the bleak stretches of neon and cinderblock that make up SLC's sprawl. So I'm home, but my thoughts are still turned to utah. Maybe because everyone keeps asking me about my trip… but maybe because I can't seem to describe the missing-ness there. Good part #1: so through some magical intervention, I listened to my gut and I skipped the ramada inn that was recommended by the workshop organizers. Instead, for a mere $20 more per night, I languished in the lush and dimpled arms of the peery hotel. For a marble bathroom, well-informed concierge, free long-distance calls, fluffy white robes, canopy bed, and endless supplies of tazo tea and extra-smelly bath-and-body-works goo…I'd say that was money well spent. Even if it was company money. Good part #2: sam weller's zion bookstore. I walked past this place on the first day, as it was on my path from the UTA light-rail station to my hotel (stay tuned for more about "TRAX"). I was drawn by the "zion," which from my rural ohio childhood conjures up back-country religion with names like "temple zions of the howling dog"… you know, the kind of church that is a pizza shop and video store Monday thru Friday, and church on the weekends. a drum set, moaning in the aisles. I thought I might at least find some weird religious tracts or an unsettling bumper sticker to bring home to scott. But instead, I walked through the shining doors of a really really great bookstore. Started just before the depression as a mormon bookstore, it is now nearly a block long – a hodge-podge building of winding paths, crooked doors and ups and downs – but faultlessly organized. With an even mix of brand-new and old books. Plus a great café in front! Great find. I managed to get a first edition gene Stratton-porter that I'd never read – "the harvester" Bad part, er, strange part… well, damn I guess they're all good parts! So good part #3: the sconecutter! Okay, close your eyes… picture a scone… dense, crumbly, maybe a few currants and a buttery/milky taste. Okay, now erase that picture! In utah, evidently, a scone is more like a rectangular unfrosted doughnut (or maybe an elephant ear?) about the size of your shoe. So, doughy, deep fried… and that's about it. The folks at stonecutter then cut them (hence the name) and stuff them with all sorts of things: turkey, hot dogs, burgers, apple pie filling, sloppy joes, taco filling… all sorts of stuff. I walked past this place for a couple of days, saving it for breakfast on Friday. I ordered a wheat scone, with 'honey butter.' I got a large brown shoe, filled with about an inch of foamy margarine and slathered in honey. I choked down a few bites, but the sweetness made my jaw lock up and I could go no further. Although, if I had known what these things were, I would have gone there for a lunch of the "sloppy scone." A doughnut filled with sloppy joes??? Mama, I'm comin' home. i'm sure that's like heaven around 3:00am after a long night at squatters. Oh yeah, and the best part is their slogan: let's go get sconed! #4: "TRAX" : utah's answer to the public transportation needs of the winter Olympics (or so I was told on Wednesday, by a friendly little elf with crippling acne and flaming red hair). Fitting with the do-gooder, no-nonsense mormon approach, the fare system is run on the honor system. You buy a ticket good for 2 hours, and get on the train. Or, you just get on the train. There's an announcement informing you that you may be required to provide proof of fare purchase, but out of the 10 times I rode the train I was only asked once. Therefore, the trains are filled to capacity with hobos and shifty-eyed cowboy types with chewing-tobacco-teeth (read: none). There were many other good things and weird things and bad things about the city, but I am tired of typing and I can't think of anything else. I'll post picture of the mormon temple soon.So in all, salt lake city was interesting. Stores closed early, and the people and cars deserted the streets by 6 or 7:00. It felt like a ghost-town, or a modern version of the streets of the old west gold towns in movies. Wide, wide streets with a few clusters of hard-skinned pioneers trudging along, minding their own business. Big mountains covered in snow, towering over people scrabbling out a life in the town. Currently listening : The Covers Record By Cat Power Release date: 21 March, 2000 1:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 ladylike Current mood: jubilant a ladybug lives in my office! me so lucky. 12:20 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

melly feel sicky. Current mood: uncomfortable so my month-long deprivation of flour, sugar and caffeinne ended today with a sickening extravaganza of candy, cookies, cake and nacho cheesier doritos. in other words, today was the halloween party here at work. i knew i wouldn't be able to resist halloween treats, so i purposely ended my "fast" a day early. but i am now regretting every move i've made today. oh you sweet strawberry laffy taffy, lumpy chewy baby ruth. my wonky friends the bottle caps. you've all turned against me. or maybe it was the lunch catered by chik-fil-a. in any case, i am riding a high queasy wave of sugary bready goodness that can only end in grumpiness and disaster. oh help me. one good thing has come of this day - my friend laffy taffy taught me a new joke: Q: what green and sings? A: elvis parsley Currently listening : Coles Corner By Richard Hawley Release date: 06 September, 2005 9:55 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Thursday, October 26, 2006 crime map Current mood: have to pee so i am off to check the crime map of my neighborhood. ?? i heard someone talking about this on npr this morning: there's a new feature to the DC police department website, where you can see a google-style map of the neighborhoods of DC that shows what kinds of crimes are being committed and where. hey! that's neat! so i should bait my car with some new release DVDs and some prescription meds and see what happens. maybe i could listen to my car getting broken into, while simultaneously watching the "car burglary" icon pop up on the map. well, maybe it's not that interactive yet. but a girl can dream, can't she? Currently listening : I See a Darkness By Bonnie Prince Billy Release date: 09 July, 2002 9:55 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 why am i so lazy? Current mood: lazy okay, so i am already losing this battle of the blog. i just can't keep up. the very last thing i want to do when i get home from work is get on the computer... to make things worse, i am too paranoid to stay on myspace at work for very long. i imagine these panic-sirens going off down in some basement control room of my building. calls being made to my boss... pink slips... irrational and kind of vain, i realize. (am i really that important that there would be a team of IT professionals monitoring my every online move?) but still, the fear is real. aside from being afraid of myspace, i am also just too damn fixated on my current "detox" diet. for those of you who aren't aware, i gave up the following vices for the month of october: caffeine, sugar, flour. it was way fun at first. i felt very smug and superior over all those sugar-laden treats lining my path. it was a fun challenge, and not too hard once i got over the candy-bowl at the reference desk here at work. i mean, i can still eat tons of things. i jsut can't have pasta, or bread or candy? i can still have honey, if i want it. and potatoes, rice. all good things, and i've only cheated a few times! before the renaissance festival on sunday, i accidentally had a ginormous cup of coffee. not a good idea when you've abstained for 3 weeks. or maybe it was the chocolate-mousse-in-waffle-cup? either way, i turned into a crazy person for a while. i think i blacked out. but now my thoughts keep circling around to the devil. i call him Sandwich. thick chewy slices of bread. chomp chomp. this devil haunts my dreams. only a few days to go until the end of my initial challenge - but i think i might try to extend until the end of the year. .. 5:50 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Friday, October 20, 2006 I'm falling for autumn Current mood: chipper and skippy so we have an action-packed weekend of autumnal celebration coming up - starting tonight! friday night: scott and i (and probably other last-minute attenders) are heading to georgetown to see one of my favorite movies - the nightmare before christmas - in 3D, no less!! yee-haw. i can't wait. saturday night: several of us revelers are going to the corn maze out in frederick, MD... give me winding paths in a spooky dark cornfield, give me pumpkin cannons and corn rockets, give me cold mud to my knees and flirty country teenagers, but above all give me..... PIT BEEF! actually the beef last year was kind of chewy and mysterious. but the best part was sitting around a giant campfire eating handfuls of greasy meat. this year the maze is a civil war theme, which doesn't quite top last year's NASCAR theme. i wonder how they decide? next year, let's all cross our fingers for "these colors don't run - pride of america." i'd like to picture myself wandering around inside an eagle holding a flag in his beak and a dead soldier in his talons, with a tear running down his little birdie cheek. sunday: the maryland renaissance festival! i can't even talk about that part yet. i am too excited. well okay, i will say a little about our visit there last year. the steak-on-a-stick is a gristly rip-off. and by the end of the day, i was starting to think that ankle-length velvet capes were lovely and that dream-catcher earrings were tasteful. i'll report this year's findings on monday.

weekend summary

this is likely to be boring, so prepare yourself:

Friday night: did nothing! and it was great.

Saturday: brunch at hank's oyster bar (usually very good, but this time my eggs were hard and the coffee was kind of weak. poo on that...), followed by a bike ride in and around georgetown with ashby (saw the new-ish DC trader joe's for the first time), followed by near heat stroke from riding in the blazing hot city; used some store-bought hair dye to get rid of uneven sun-bleaching and related roots; BATMAN at the IMAX theatre in dulles, VA - part of the new air and space museum annex (man, it was good...).

Sunday: made some bread in the bread machine; finished the knitting of maddie's sweater; lazed about the house; went to the UMd gym to renew my membership and swam at the pool; had first "summit meeting" with scott, regarding beginning stages of wedding planning - yay!

so that was my action packed weekend. since i finally RE-joined the university gym, i am going tonight. my first visit back after a long long hiatus. i always dread the first time back after a long absence. i feel like everyone can tell at first glance: ill-fitting, too-tight gym clothes; clumsy movements in unfamiliar tennis shoes; shifty, suspicious eyes. these are all telling signs of a guilty return to the gym. oh well. it's gotta happen sometime. time to get it over with. *sigh*

it shouldn't be so hard. but all afternoon i've been having a dialog in my head about it: "nah, i could just leave my gym bag here at work, and go tomorr... NO! GAH! well... i really do have some things to do after work, i should.... NO! FORGET IT! MUST GO TO GYM! i will have to forcibly drag myself to my car, and fight with the steering wheel to make it over to the gym. sadly, once i get there it will be fine, i'll have a great time, and i'll look back and wonder what the heck is wrong with myself. but until then, i'll be gut-punching my conscience for the rest of the day.

really, the only motivators at this point are these two visions: 1) trying on wedding dresses in a cavernous changing salon, which involves standing in my underpants on a raised stage, holding up my boobs, in front of a tri-fold mirror while an old skinny lady puts dresses on my body (it happens! i've seen it done!), and b) fidgeting down the sunlit aisle in a too-tight white dress that shows my too-tight underwear line, with slumps of fat lounging over each side of the strapless dress.

because as i am noticing, almost ALL new wedding dresses are strapless. why? i have a minimal chest and can't be expected to hold up a heavy dress. plus i don't want to have to worry about yanking on it in public. i've got some plans to get around this dress design flaw, but i figure it can't hurt to tone up a smidge while i'm at it.

in which i return from camping, and think of life and love

well, first things first: i think we've told the big news to everyone in immediate family and friends... scott and i are engaged! yippee! he proposed on our beach camping trip over the weekend, on one knee in the sandy dunes at sunset. it was very sweet and romantic, as is my new sparkly ring. which, i'll tell you, is distracting! i haven't worn rings in years, so i find myself staring at it. a lot. especially when i am sitting at traffic lights. i've become that lady that people honk at.

i have pictures to upload, but i am being lazy. so bear with me, people. i've got a lot on my mind. :)

the camping trip was GREAT, engagement and all other happiness aside. the weather was terrific, the ponies left our shit alone, we even saw the cutest baby pony you've ever seen:

Thursday, prep for trip:

actually, prep began much earlier in the week. but thursday night we packed most everything into the backpacks. mine is so heavy that i can hardly get it off the ground if i lift it with my arms. worrisome, indeed. especially since my job requires that i am able to dead-lift 45 pounds of archival materials. however, if i sit next to the pack and put on the shoulder straps and waist belt... i am somehow able to carry it without too much trouble.

Friday, Day1:

we got up at 4:15am - AM! - to get on the road by 5:00. and we actually made it pretty close to on-time. i think we pulled away from the house at 5:05. a minor miracle. that put us out to assateague island just before 8:30? and by the time we filled out the paperwork at the ranger station, fooled around a bit and shouldered our packs for the hike... we departed by 9:13 sharp. the sun was beginning to get hot, and we were glad for the early start. over the fluffy dunes we went, past the (shockingly numerous) sunbathers out so early on a weekday, making our way to the hard-packed sand by the water. shuffling through the fluffy dry sand was H-A-R-D and i was briefly concerned about the whole venture. then we made to the water's edge and all was fine. relatively. it was hard at first, and all i could think was "god, this sucks, i can't wait until this is over." but then my brain figured out that it was going to be a while, and i kind of forgot/got used to the pack. the last mile was hard, though, as my waist belt was slipping and the pack was feeling heavier and heavier with each step. then we made it! less than 2 hours, i think.

[pony portrait, from last year - on my flickr]

dumping those packs on the ground never felt so good. relieved of the oppressive weight, i felt like i could skip over the moon. fly through the air like wonder woman. it was great. even though we could hear the pounding surf over the dunes and could practically feel the cold sea spray... we decided it would be all the sweeter later if we put up the tent first. and so we did. then had a quick lunch of tuna on crackers (this stuff is awesome!) and tomatoes. and THEN hit the water. where we stayed for the rest of the day, pretty much. i had brought a small sun shelter, so we had some shade and a cool breeze... we read, and slept a little and just enjoyed the novelty of not walking around with 50 pounds on our backs.

as a last chance to eat non-freeze dried food, we had bought some hot dogs for dinner. we waited until almost dark to make the fire - BAD BAD MOVE. about 30 seconds after the sun dipped below the horizon, huge swarms of mosquitoes came tumbling over the dunes to suck us dry of blood. we stood cowering in the smoke of the fire, scarfing down our dinner in a few hasty bites before diving into the tent. luckily, we were so tired from the long day that we passed out in a few minutes.

Saturday, Day 2:

woke early, it was a dry night with not much dew. meals were an adventure in freeze-dried goodness/weirdness. we played on the beach pretty much all day, with a scrabble break here and there, and a nap or two. we brought a trap and a bucket for crabbing, and had plans to walk over the island to the bay side for some crabbing. we found the path about 2K from our site and began the leisurely hike through the march. wrong! we got about 10 feet into the grassy area before the mosquitoes were so bad that they were flying into my mouth and nose. !!! i looked over at scott and his entire back was covered with bugs, to the point where his back looked furry. we screamed like babies and ran back to the sand, where the bugs promptly vanished and we scurried back to the beach.

it was a bit hotter on saturday, and i tried to rig up some shade at the campsite with a fallen signpost - to no avail. next time, i'll invest in a super lightweight shelter to bring along. i did discover that by lashing a metallic tarp to our tiny sun shelter on the beach, i could make a larger shade area - almost like a miniature covered wagon. great for reading the thornbirds, and for napping. scott wanted to take an evening walk, so we scheduled dinner for earlier to leave time for walking prior to mosquito invasion. we followed some wildlife trails around the dunes, and then scott asked me the big question! it was perfect. after strolling back to the site, we had just enough time to brush teeth, gather supplies for the night (because neither of us wanted to leave the tent after dark) and head for the tent. we played some scrabble and some UNO and hit the sack. i don't think my hair has ever been greasier. ever in my life. it actually felt wet and stiff at the same time.

Sunday, Day 3:

up at 7:00ish, breakfast, break camp. i think we departed around 10:00 - later than we had planned. and GOLLY the packs were a lot lighter on the way back. we packed just under 3 gallons a person - that's almost 30 pounds of just water. we drank almost every drop, so our packs were about 30 pounds lights on the trek back. wheeee! and it was f-ing hot. and one of our tent poles got so much sand jammed into the joints that it wouldn't collapse. poor scott had to walk the whole way with a 10 ft pole coming out of the top of his pack - which forced him to walk in the difficult, tiring fluffy sand for the first 2+ miles in order to keep from snagging on the multitude of fishing poles set up along the waterside. ask him about it someday. he'd love to tell you about it.

but man, once we got back to the car and dumped our crap everywhere, we hauled our butts to the icy cold water once again. an hour or two of swimming and resting and we were ready for cold showers in the campground area, followed by a seafood lunch at the assateague crab shack. after a weekend of drinking nothing but warm-ish water, icy cold pop never tasted so good. we were home before dark. and not a moment too soon.

Lessons learned: freeze-dried huevos rancheros aren't the best idea; we need a sun shelter; backpacking where there is no potable or fresh water at all is hard; pack at least one whole spray can of 30% deet bug spray PER DAY when camping out there (we almost ran out); we need a wind screen for the camp stove; if you bury hotdogs in the sand in the shade of a dune, they will stay nice and cool and the ponies won't find them; baby ponies sure are cute.

Will we do this again? certainly! just not right away.

BIG THANKS TO JESSIE AND DAVID: for the campstove and all the other donated goodies. we couldn't have done it otherwise.