Wednesday, May 6, 2009

makes me wanna hoop

So I made a hula hoop.

For myself.

Scott asked me what in the heck I was going to do with the PVC tubing I bought from the home despot – when I said I was going to make myself a hula hoop, he laughed. I told him I was serious, and he laughed some more. So I said, “no really, I’m making a hula hoop.” And then he chuckled merrily and shook his head.

He came home from work yesterday and there was a hula hoop in the living room. He said, “oh! So you were serious about that hula hoop thing!” and he wonders why I say he doesn’t listen to me...

I hooped my ass off yesterday afternoon (well, not really, I’m more aiming to hoop my gut off) while I was home early from work. I hooped through Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and part of an episode of Clean House. Which, looking back, might have been too much for my first time of hooping since elementary school. My back was k-i-l-l-i-n-g me last night and I have little bruises all over my waist. But it was worth it! It is supposed to be a good workout for gut and lower back. Lord knows my flabby gut and weak back could use some work. and it's really pretty fun.

You can buy exercise hoops online for $20-$30+tax+shipping, but I got the supplies at the store for less than $10. And that is good enough for me. it was put together and ready to go in under 10 minutes flat.

The first couple of tries at the hoop resulted in the hoop crashing dramatically and immediately to the floor. I knocked a candle off of the coffee table a few times. Scared the hell out of the cats more than once. The first, oh, say, 300 times it fell to the floor it smashed into the pointy part of my ankle bone on the way down. God, you know how that hurts. I said curses (motherFUCKERohgoddamnSHITballspleasegodhelpmeohfuck) so loud and convincingly that i’m certain my pleas were heard at the gates of heaven. i was afraid to look, because it hurt so sharply that i thought the skin over the pointy bone had been cleaved open and that my ankle guts would be exposed. And just like when you bite your lip once, and proceed to chomp down on the same place over and over and over…. Well, it’s the same with pointy ankle bones, apparently. I smashed the bejeezums out of my ankles, then with tears in my eyes I tied dishtowels around my ankles like bulky, super-short leg warmers resumed hoopin’ the night away.

to make a hula hoop of your very own, all you need is some PVC tubing (not the pipes - it has to be flexible enough to bend into a stiff circle), a connector (from the same aisle at lowes depot), and some jazzy colored electrical tape to cover it. and that's it! i think there are calculations for how big around your hoop should be, based on your height. but i wasn't that technical. the tubing came precut in lengths of 10 feet, so that's what i got. i am just under 5'8" and the finished hoop comes just to my belly button when i stand it in front of me. that seems about right to me. go make one. you won't regret it.


Lorie said...


This post right here my friend is why I like you!!

Some things never I'm off to Lowe's, I've got some gut work to do.... :)

mel said...

make a hoop! you won't regret it! i'm afeared to hoop more tonight. i kind of do have a bad back and i don't relish the thought of going down the aisle next week in a wheelchair... maybe i should rest up before i hoop again.

Jessie and David said...

Love it! I should definitely add this to me post-partum workout. Since that it many, many moons away, I have time to get in the proper mindset. Something along the lines of neon fat-laces for my trainers!

mel said...

oooh neon fat laces! yes. yes.